I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Randomize
