The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
