I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
