Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize
