sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
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you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
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I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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