Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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