He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize