I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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