drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
