remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Randomize
