"it" just moved
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
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