fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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