ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
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