There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
