I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
Just stole a pregnancy test from Wegmans because I didn't want to pay 13 dollars to find out my life is over.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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