I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
where does the pee come out of this thing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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