If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
