I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You pole danced in your parka.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
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