My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
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Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
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Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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