It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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