the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
