So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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