don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
