I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
The adults are the big ones right?
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