He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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