yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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