jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
