I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
