Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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