You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Randomize
