My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Houston, we have a blender
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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