3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
