i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
You could see the bone sticking out of his shin and he insisted he was "just gunna walk it off"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
