it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
WHY DIDN'T YOU INVITE ME TO RUN THROUGH TACO BELL'S SPRINKLERS AT 4AM?!
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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