we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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