how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
This hangover is what we deserve after that level of debauchery.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Randomize
