There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Randomize
