Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
