Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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