Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Randomize
