i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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