Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
