It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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