i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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