Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
