Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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