we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
