My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I didn't notice because vodka
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
