i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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