Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
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