i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
