I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
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He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
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Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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