i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
