he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
false alarm. still invincible.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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