what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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