I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
