Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
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