Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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