me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Randomize
