I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
Randomize
