there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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