Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
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We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
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I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
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