She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
